Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
