if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
two words...techno handjob
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
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