Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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