Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize