I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
