omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
