Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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