i think i have two assholes
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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