Tell her she can't have a vagina
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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