Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
