he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
