Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Can you bring me the toilet please
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
The Olympian is in my bed
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
