Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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