What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
