maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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