I wish I could punch you in the face.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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