On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize