Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
