I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Randomize
