He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
