3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
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