My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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