Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize