Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
he fucked my hip out of place.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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