worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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