Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
