yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize