Grow some girl-balls and come out already
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
