Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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