sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
