When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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