So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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