But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
