you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
