Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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