So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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