Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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