The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
