You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize