dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
