Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
