Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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