I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
