508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize