I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
