I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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