No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
