I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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