Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
the day after is always just damage control
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
