I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
