I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
