Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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