Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
