you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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