So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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