Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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