allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
