shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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