Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
