Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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