you would pick up someone in the library
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
