I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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