The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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