Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
