we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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