You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
