Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I have feelings that need drinking.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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