Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I just blew my weed a kiss
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
