I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
