I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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